soooo....

I havent blogged in awhile, upsetting I know. =( but..lets see where to startttt... Today, this is really random, but my mom was just talking to me and she said, "Lauren, when you get a bit older and have little babies i want to tell you, make sure you send them to swim lessons at a young age, there are too many deaths related to young ones drowning" it was interesting to hear he say, I've always been very alert to such cases. Reading the newspaper every morning has swormed me with news. I hate and feel such anger when i read a story such as the caylee anthony story, trenton ducket, or ramsey. They are such horror stories. How and why could a mother or father do such a thing to such a beautiful child with such a life ahead of them. Anyone would have taken them in if the parents didnt want them. It disgusts me. okay. enough said before I get upset.

The other day i got to thinking...Life. Its about the joy and happiness that occur during the moments you live. Laughing and smiling my way through life. Liveing and Loveing ever step, every breathe I take. Why be gloomy and sorrow when you can be happy and joyful. I love to laugh and smile as many know. I love seeing the same. A smile is worth a thousand words. I believe that statement to be incorrect. A smile is not worth a thousand words, a smile is more than words can describe. People in my life make me amazingly happy, its crazy. Why worry so much, stress, get mad, angry...when one can embrace life, live it to the fullest. Living life, Loving Life, Smiling, Happiness, and Laughing, its the way of life, and Im loving it.

I am a very happy person, I do have my times however when I'm upset, but that NEVER lasts long and it takes alot to upset me. I do get worried and nervous alot. Not good. or is it? School frustrates me up the ying yang. Grades havent been going the way i have planned...I kinda dug myself a deep hole and im scurrying trying to climb out but cant find a ledge of the hole to grab onto. what am i doing? i feel lost at times. But somehow, something good always comes out of it. I'm SO optimistic. I know i will succeed in the end. Whatever happens, i will succeed.

As a junior, I love what im doing and where im at. Im having fun and happy! I laugh all the time, cry alot from laughs. Through some tears, things pull together. I think i will look back on highschool knowing i had a blast with all my buddies...okay i guess i'll name most everyone...since i never do...Kstinas, Lauren, Brittany, Neil, Matt Robin <3! Matt tavera, Omar, ms glum, simon, talia, kirsti, carol, caroline, camille, jenn, katie, abby, amber, chessy, alexis..the list goes on... the girlies, besties, buddies, b/f!, friends, w/e be their title, I LOVE! You guys truely make me ohhh sooo happy! The laughs, tears, smiles, amazinggg times have, so far, been unforgettable. with a little over a year left of highschool, it will be even better, more amazingly fun happy times. I cant wait.

As i look into the future, graduation, college, carerr, marriage, kids...I cant wait. I cant wait to see what in store for me! college is a scary thing to think about. Will i get in? where? will i be good enough? rejected? scholorships? sat? ahhhhhhh!

Prom is coming up and I cantttttt wait!!! I <333 Matt sooo much! makes my life sparkle soooo much!! He, being such a happy person, with an amazing smile is incredible! We have had alot of amazing times soo far and many more! <333 (:

Soooo...BEACH time!! i need a tan! haha The girlies and I are going for a night or two to ormond together! woot!!!

Well, i best get on my hw, American idol is on tonight!

With much love and laughter, LBB

REALLY????

can you believe it. I. ME. LAUREN. LAUREN BETHANY BROWN. I got written up today. WHAT???? all because of a note that i was writing during class. seriously? So Norona wrote me up. WTFFFF. so i went down to bevin, who read it and laughed, i mean, really, come on, im an AP student with a clear record, who is going to temper with my record now over such a measly thing. i was mad nontheless. clearly, any chance at leadership for next year had dwindled away.

So...contimplating the idea...do i go to a v-ball camp this summer and tryout for vball next year? idk yet...pondering on the idea.

Last weekend was amazingggggggggg with Matt!!!! The beach was sooooo much fun!! Roses are beautiful! (:

alrightyyyy h/w time guhhh

with much love and laughter, LB

happy!!!! (:

HEY!!! so today is the 11th of february!! 2/7 marks the day! ahhh he makes me smile sooo much! and i mean that when i say that. ahhh He is soooo sweet and cute it drives me crazy!!! I'm soooo glad we met! thanks neil! I cant wait for prom!!! i need to get a dresss!!! ahh mattttt im soo excited!! (: <3 (backwords smiley sideways heart!)

Sooo...alot of things have happened in the past few weeks! matt being one of them!!! (: but i also had solo and ensemble, in which i praticed the crappp out of the piece, soon to learn that i was playing it in the wrong key. long story short, i relearned the piece in the right key and ended up getting a superior on it!! WOOT! next year i will play a 5 so i can go to state!

Grades....yes, always a topic of discussion. I PASSED MY PHYSICS QUIZ!!! lol. i was sooo proud! haha. but then again...DOC WORTHMAN. omg. sooo i did the packet, and a friends forgot to do his so i let him copy mine... bad idea as i soon found out. yes, doc the mind reader found out and gave us both zeros. this is killlinggggg me. so embarrasing and its killing my grade. ahhhh.. :( not good. at least he didnt write me up though..i have a clean record and plan on keeping it that way! now i realllyyyy neeed to step it up and raise my grade...it will be a hard adventure...and im very nervous and concerned for my grade in that class, not to mention Doc prob hates me now. :(

On another note, my parents bdays were these past few days! haha, i thought it was sooo cute when my dad got my mommy flowers! awww!!! haha...

Nick is coming home today. maybe he will say hi this time and talk to me perhaps.

I got a membership at lifestyles!! so now im working out there, and i got a trainer who is gonna kick my assss! ahhhh. but i really need to work on it, loose some weight, gain some muscle, we all know the drill. lol

I cant wait for this saturday!! Beach on valentines with he cutie pie!! (:

welp, i best get on that psychology...lol. *sigh*

with much love and laughter, LBB

Smiling :D

These past few days I havent been able to stop smiling. I love talking with him, hes sooo nice, kind, cute, and has a great personality! I cant wait to hangout with him!!!

Neil=amazing. :)

report cards came in last week,...not good. i have alot of work to do, but i am VERY optimistic!

Have u ever just wanted to run wild, dance in the rain, swim naked? haha...well, u get the point, i love adventures! haha, lately i have been doing alot of biking, and i need to kayak once the weather warms up...wait, we are in FL, it is warm. haha

So, get this song...a few lyrics from Human by the Killers"

I did my best to noticewhen the call came down the lineup to the platform of surrenderI was brought but I was kindand sometimes I get nervouswhen I see an open door Close your eyes, clear your heartCut the cord are we human or are we dancermy sign is vital, my hands are cold and I´m on my knees looking for the answerare we human or are we dancer

love this song! kinda reminds me of myselfs in ways.

So, i believe things happen for a reason. they were ment to happen. maybe we learn from our mistakes and take that with us to the future for the better. but i do think that lately, things have been happening for a reason.

I'm really excited and looking forward to this next week!!! except for maybe my solo piece...which i hope goes well. but other than that, sunday will be great! and i cant wait till spring break! ;)

I've been going to the Y alot lately, so hopefully i can gain more muscle and lose some unneeded pounds so i can go to the beach and look HOTTT! ehhehe ;) well, at least make my self less self concious.

This is a really random blog. ;) I'm really happy right now!

I think people can change. i know i have changed since last year it seems in ways...yea physically (LOL) but mentally and emotionally as well. As for a certain someone, his actions may not be wise, yet somehow i still think he is a good person and can do right. until he finds himself and climbs himself out from that water well that he has seemed to fallen into, will things change. (2)

Valentines day is coming up! ;)

well, these are just a few thoughts running through my head! Someone is on my mind though! hehe :D good day today!

With much EXTRA Love and Laughter, LB

What happens in London stays in London.

HEYYYY!! so, i just came home a few days ago from London! I had an absolute blast, such a great experience. hmm...i guess i will start with day 1...

Day 1: We departed from a bus from LM to OIA flying out around 6... we were all excited!!! so we borded the plane, i sat next to matt and glenn, with norona in the seat in front of me.. lol. we flew during the night, i didnt get much sleep. the plane food was amazing! lol...

Day 2: arrival in greenwich airport around 7am. We all got on a bus that took us throw the outskirts of London and into Hamersmith, where we stayed at the Novotel. We quickely dropped our stuff off and bored the bus again to Windsor Castle. The architecture was beautiful. we went into St. Georges cathedral which was sooo pretty! London was freezing btw, but we had really good weather! (all pics on fb) after windsor we went back to the hotel for a bad dinner and to rest for the night.

Day 3: We went on a 4 hour tour through london, where we stopped at St. Pauls cathedral...i wish we had stayed there longer, it was an unbelievable site. as u can see, i really enjoyed the historic buildings and architecture...others in the group didnt seem to interested, but w/e, their loss. anyways, we also visitedt he london tower bridge and we saw the changing of the guards and buckingham palace. we ate at the original hard rock cafe. and we also saw big ben!

Day 4: We woke up nice and early and rode the eye of london! amazing sites from way up high! we continued on and visited the London tower. and it was here, that while my group was inside a cafe having coffee that i stepped outside with my chaperone to use the pottie, that when we came back we saw 3 british guards standing there. Now, the guards are not aloud to speak or move out of line, so i stood next to the guards while my chaperone was about to take a picture...but, the guard suddenly turned and gave me a huge hug for the pic!!!! he was soooo cute! and as i was walking away, the guard called back to me and he gave me a new years kiss!!!!! it was amazing. i was star struck. i got a british kiss.

Day 5: New Years Parade! It was amazing! sooo many people stand in the streets to watch and tape the various performers in the parade! i loved it! it was sooo cool! so many people cheering us on! amazing!!!! Later that night, i got ready for the New years party for all the highschoolers a the hotel! I looked hottt! lol. but really, i did. :) i headed over...and well...lets just say what happens in london stays in london. lol. hahah, nah, i wont give much detail on here, but i met some nice guys, and danced with a california boy i met, Derek, who was a zac effron look a like! we had alot of fun! and when 12am struck...welll, lets just say i got a new years kissies...tehehhe :D i must say, it was an absolute amazing night. I didnt have a worry on mind. No regrets whatsoever. i had a blast. ...idk, for once, like..ughh..this is odd for me to say this, but aksjdfhwer...ughh, i actually felt good about myself that night, like idk, i felt pretty. ugh, never mind, this is all too hard to put into words...

Day 6: We ventured 2 hours away to Stratford upon avon, also known as shakespeares birthplace. And i must say, this is one of two of my favorite places we visited. The town was soo cute, i loved the little shops, and we walked through shakespeares house and then to Trinity Church, where shakespeare is buried happily. This quote is layed upon shakespeares grave, it is said that he was suppose to be buried at westminister abbey.

i was slightly upset however that we didnt stay too long here in stratford. sooo many places to visit here, so much cream tea, which is famous there and little boutiques and such.

We continued in to Warwick castle.

Day 7: not sure i remember all too much about today.. ;/ but we did visit harrods at night, and matt bought a pair of adidas there. lol. ohh and we ate at garfunkels and had traditional fish and chips! it was soo tasty! and i had the best mocha cappuchino cream ever there! we ended up missing curfew that night...haha

Day 8: I woke up early to wish the "mayors of sexytown" farewell. Derek, shane and jeremy, miss u guys! we then visited westminister abbey, where many important people are buried included darwin! we then departed to my my other favorite place, Covent Gardens. I love it. The street performers were very cool, and the market was soo cute. i loved it, we ate at this italian pizza place where this cute italian made my pizza! then as we walked the market a french man made me a crepe with nutella and cream! love.... lol. then we ventured to the british museum, say the rosetta stone and didnt have much time here. we made our way back to the hotel to get ready and dressed up for the play Wicked! The play was soooo amazing! i loved it! the theatre was sooo cool! and the show was outstanding, and the live band was to perfection!

Day 9: early in the morning, around 2am, about 10 of us had planned to tape noronas door shut with duck tape, cause over the past week he had taped our doors to ensure we didnt sneak out...so myself, alex, chessy, alexis, sean, daneil, glenn, and others duck tapped his door. it was amazing, but he still hasnt said anything about it. lol. so after getting little sleep, i woke up around 5 and we set off on the plane home. this day, if i may, was HELL. I got soo incrediabley sick on the plane ride home. it was miserable. We arrived back around 7 and i had to get ready for school...i was sooo sick and tookk lots of medicine. ;)

the next day... school this day was helllll.. i felt and looked like crap. soo sick. and i still am. omg. this is bad. i feelll horrible...asdkjlfhwerioajsdfjasdf;j...and im in a bad mood. lol. but w/e

anyways, basically, i had an awesome adventure in london. I want to live there! i loved the cities beauty, the old historic places! if i ever go back though, which i do hope i do, i do wish that i go with a close group of friends or family, cause the band group was way too big, and therefore lots of time was wasted takeing role, and doing lots of waiting for slow people and irresponsible people. but i enjoyed the trip nonetheless.

now i gotta go attemt at some homework...see how that goes, im sick as a dog. omg. i feel sooa ijsdfkjweroasjdfk.

anyways, with much love and laughter, LB

2008 comes to a closer...

well hello there! its been waayy to0 long since i blogged! i dont know where to start! ...

well, for starters, christmas was yesterday! i must say, it was a great day! my aunt and uncle came over and yesterday morning, my aunt, uncle, sis, and set out on a longgg bike ride! and man, 20 miles worked my bootie! thehe, and we stopped at the usual place on the trail and fed the horses! we came home and talked and joked and laughed...the normal Brown Family favorites. then we ate ALOT...and drank...coke and water. ;) and pretty much had a jolly good time together as one big happy Brown Family! :) we decided this year presents were not necesary to a great christmas..however we all seem to break that rule. lol. i got a new projection alarm clock! yeah! and undies and a purse! woot! not to mention my trip to London coming up and my class ring! :D

while on that subject.... i leave for London on Sunday! I'm soooo excited! Setting out across sea to an unknown area of the world is sooo thrilling. It's going to be freezingg!!! and dang, i am not prepared for that, my warm floridian bootie in london. lmao. It will be amazingly fun nontheless, with the Bandos i love! ...and hot british men! :)

I got my SAT scores back a few days ago...not pretty. i was pretty upset at those damn results. i really thought i did better. no need to shed tears though over that, i will def be retaking that soon.


i washed and waxed my car today! it was soooo dirty! lol... inside and out! (backseat) lmao, thats for u BOOPER! lol! love u!

Things have been going pretty well these past few weeks! Family came over, great holiday break, going to London, MY COMPUTER IS FIXED(still in the process of downloading stuff), everybody is in good health, kasper is doing well, i decided to play waterpolo coming up soon, that is however, if i get the courage to wear the one piece and if it actually fits me. lol. but...2 things are missing. these 2 things are ALWAYS...ALWAYS on my mind. grades and another unmentionable problem.

Grades. Grades. Grades. this, so far, has not been a good year with grades. I really need to step it up. i have the end of this semester to trug through, then a new semester to begin with good grades hopefully. Ya know, this just crossed my mind...i am such an optimistic person, i actually think I'm going to do better next semester. wow, hold on, (sry, i think im talking to myself haha) i just challenged myself to do better...interesting...New years resolution? hmm...and the other item on mind...this is a hard one to talk about...well here goes...

I want a guy. A guy that will make me laugh. We would laugh together. A guy that smiles. A guy that is honest, respectful, and truthful. A guy that shares his emotions with me and i share mine. A guy that calls me, just to talk. A guy that will ride bikes with me and stop to share a smoothie. A guy thats adventurous. A guy that loves me. A guy that cares. A guy that holds my hand. A guy that dances with me in the pouring rain (and of course kiss me in the pouring rain!) A guy that loves my family and friends for who they are and i will love his. A guy who loves me for who i am. A guy thats with me through good times and bad. A guy that will stand by my side. A guy that will just sit with me and watch movies till we fall asleep. A guy that is crazy yet romantic. A guy that will plan a picnic or maybe even surprise me. A guy that will call me his girl. A guy that will love me. and not just any guy. This guy is out there. somewhere. Maybe we have met, maybe we will meet tommorow, maybe in college. I dont know. But I'm here waiting for you. :)

that took so much out of me you have no idea. so im sitting here tearing up. and i ask myself why? honestly, i dont know how to answer that. shouldnt i be concentrating on other things such as grades and what not? ...*sigh*...


now that thats all out of me... 2008 is coming to an end, 2009 is a few days away! I will be celebrating the new year in london! at a party! woot! 2009..so much to look forward to! but i wont forget 2008! through good and bad times...lets try to remember some things...i finished up ACL rehab! lol. failed my AP World test, finished school off fairly well, many parties to never forget! Summer in mexico was amazing. absolutely an unforgettable trip. junior year begins! powderpuff game! football games! hip surgery! band! vball! dances! parties! bonfires! ohhh my! there is sooo much more that happened! :)

have you ever given up something that was important to you? I've been contimplating this idea for awhile and i dont know what to do. Volleyball. I've played for six years and 2 years of club and absolutely love the sport. however, my downfall with the ACL surgery put me at a bad setback. i did come back and play this year, but it was really rough, no lie. I know i was rough, and it was hard on me. I gave up playing club season this year and im not sure whether to give up playing. Next year is senior year, i'd hate to quit before i graduate and not play my senior year. but then again, i'd have to go to camps this upcoming summer and try to gain some more strenght to play in the fall. I dont know. It kills me to think that i would "just not tryout". I love the sport. I dont know what to do damnit. asdfhaskdjwoirjasdf

anyways, this was really long...sry. lol. leaving for london in 64 hours! see ya'll later!

with much love and laughter. LB

seriously. seriously.

Now, were in like what the 21st century i think? lol. and we are surrounded by all this damn technology that washes our minds away in ciberspace and by little damn wires conected and a messy piece of .... sry for the anger, bit as you can see, MY COMPUTER CRASHED. and i lost everything f-ing thing saved on it and im soooooooooooooo pissed right now. so, im useing this old computer that sux ass. no joke. I dont have itunes, and use youtube till i download crap. facebook and myspace dont work. omg. im going to cry. seriously. this sux ass. something or someone or this damn computer is about to get punched or slammed into the tile. holy crap. so pissed.

Why cant we all just live like the cavemen did way back then. Life would be so much easier. (damn it, i cant type crap on this keyboard) But really, think about it...no technology, no troubles, no shit to deal with...just yourself, and a cave. how lovely would that be. Lauren and a cave. maybe some berries too. :) and perhaps nobody around. just me and myself and the cave. ..yea okay now im going crazy..

But seriously. this is ridicilous.

on another note...

randomly, as i was walking to lunch and to my locker today, i was walking and pretty much just thinking, as always...about Boopers book "Dateable". and i had some interesting thoughts come to mind...being that right now im pretty confused, but besides that deal, the point is, i remember somthing in the book stating that you wont stay together in highschool so why bother dating or something on that note... and why i feel some of that is false, alot of it is true. then again, i look at it like, im in highschool, should i not just be focusing on academics? well, i should me focused on academics, but im not. my mind drifts away frequently. and when yea think about it, everyone dreams about finding that man in there life, a mystery thats taking way to long to solve. Or in a guys veiwpoint, i guess he waiting for that woman to come along. or i mean, if ya swing differently than those two options than so be it, as long as ones happy in life i dont care who you love. but as we were discussing in psych today, "would u take the love or the money" Love is life. Live life loving happily. cant beat it. money wont cut it. yeah, in the long run, money is america, cant prosper w/o it, but Love, thats something that facinates me. When will it happen? is he out there? does he know me? do i know him? when will we meet? is he wondering the same things i am?

Life is all a mystery. Waiting to be unsolved as life unvails itself till death and beyond. Wonders of my mind flow curiously through the day, longing for the day i solve pieces and bits of this gigantic mystery. And the mystery isnt just "love". well, okay, most of it is...but what about career wise. What will i do? where will i go to college? what will i do in life? what will i pursue? where will i go? all these questions race through my mind daily as well as many other questions. when? where? why? what? how?

Life is a mystery. and im still yet to unsolve it. Honestly, i cant wait.for the future. im very optimistic. and while i should be concentrating on the present times, i can admit im not that focused. maybe i should change that up a bit. but for now, im 17, a junior in highschool. i cant wait to unsolve this mystery.

and while most are reading this, if anyone actually made it this far, lol, sry it may not have made all that much sense. hehe ;)
with much love and laughter, LB