Who am i.

Just like in Mulan, she was lost at knowing where she stands, what to do, who she is, and why she is the way she is.

Look at meI will never pass for a perfect brideOr a perfect daughterCan it beI'm not meant to play this part?Now I seeThat if I were truly to be myselfI would break my fam'ly's heartWho is that girl I seeStaring straightBack at me?Why is my reflection someoneI don't know?Somehow I cannot hideWho I amThough I've triedWhen will my reflection showWho I am inside?When will my reflection showWho I am inside?

Who am i? im sitting here tearing up not knowing what the hell is going on with me. I dont see myself in the mirror as i always have. Im finally breaking down. and unfortunatley, i believe my family has noticed. Not what im known for.

Who i am and what im all about doesnt seem to be apparemt right now and i cant figure it out. alot of things have gone wrong this year, but then again, trying to stay optimistic, some things have been amazing.

first of all, my friends, i love u all, and actually, when im down, like now, i sit and think "what would they do" and somehow the only think that comes to mind is... "get ur ass going and study and work harder" lmao. so thats what i did. i did alot of h/w and went for a long peaceful bike ride in the rain.

and well, maybe you're reading this, maybe not, most prob are prob thinking "what is she talking about?" but thats alright, ...anyways, baby im really glad that we've been talking and getting pass "nerves" and stuff. I know this could work out for us. Im sorry i have like no life right now w/ vball/band and low grades, but in a few weeks it will get alot better. we are hanging out soon def!!!!!!! :D <3

So, as confused as i am about myself currently, i know i have it in me to do bettter and show my true colors. Its all hinding and needs to come out. As for now, imma just push myself harder to do better and prove myself.

I always end my posts "with much laughter and love" and for as much confused, mad, sad, emotionally wrecked that i am, imma continue to end it well. Thats one think i know for sure about myself, love and laugter will always be in me no matter what.

With much love and laughter, Lauren