Im the only one.

Lately I've been feeling like the odd one left out. The one that doesnt know. The one that messes up. The one that wants to achieve. The one that hurts. The one that doesnt understand. The one that feels like breaking down. And right now, I really dont know what to do.

As dumb as this may sound, i've never been so stressed out because of math! I just dont understand what were learning and quizzes are being thrown like fireballs every few days! I look around at the sophomores and see that everyone else seems to get it! I feel so dumb. as bad as i feel saying that, its soo downgrading. I know i really need to step it up! ughh...i know its possible but why do I have to have all the trouble.

First vball game was tonight...I was really excited, and oddly still am. But it didnt go the way i was wishing for. Not only did we lose, but i hate being that person. The person that messed up. The person that knows she can do better. The person thats embarrassed. I know i have it in me.

Sometimes i feel like im the only one that wishes on a star late at night when no one is looking. Sitting doing my h/w at 11, looking out the window, and wishing on a bright star lighting up the night sky. Wishing for things that feel impossible, but i know i can do. Wishing for somthing new to happen, to brighten my day. Wishing for something good, like maybe a nice grade of 2! haha
It feels like im the only one.

I feel like im the only one that thinks of these types of things. The only one that worries about irrevelvent things. The only one that gets nervous and stresses about things that i should feel confident about doing.

But then again, I am one that knows she can do better. My performance levels arent achieving shat and I know that can change! Coach gave a motivational speech after our loss, and as hard as it was hearing what i should have already known, he actually inspired me to do better, try harder, and maybe a bit more serious at times...

Once again, am i the only one? Probably not. Im just different. Tommorows a new day, new adventures, new successes, new failures?

well, now that all thats cleared out of my system partially...I best go study math... :/ I WILL DO GREAT TOMMOROW!!! I KNOW I CAN!!! :D

With much love and laughter, Lauren